Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.
The leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart Disease 2. Chuck Norris 3. Cancer
Chuck Norris has 2 speeds : Walk and Kill.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity ..... twice.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
A Chuck Norris-delivered Roundhouse Kick is the preferred method of execution in 16 states.
It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Chuck Norris lives in Oklahoma.
There is no chin under Chuck Norris' Beard. There is only another fist.
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