Forfatter Emne: Engelsk???  (Læst 1828 gange)

0 Medlemmer og 1 Gæst læser dette emne.

Paw

  • Sandt SVin
  • *****
  • Indlæg: 1283
  • Rrrrrggghhhh! Donuts...
Engelsk???
« Dato: Februar 18, 2006, 07:22:44 pm »
Fandt lige denne gut på et Apriliaforum:

starting problems

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

fur feck sake ya bunch o wolly backed wassocks, whit is the problem wie startin yer feckin bikes.

Ah go awa fur a week ur twa an aw ah get when ah com back is whaur ur ye coz we cannae stert oor bikes.

Dae we need tae mak this a sticky.

Assumin that ye aw ken hoo tae get tae yer garage/shed/whitever, get inside an insert the key in the ignition, remove aw yer disc locks, chains and whitever else ye paranoid bunch o feckers hae oan yer bike. Is this care in the community ur whit, ahve been throo this loads o times an ye still come back wie aw this "ma bike wilnae start" pish.

Ahve been readin throo some o the recent posts, an yoo bunch o feckin halfwits jis dinnae hae a clue, huv ye no been listenin fur the last hoo many years.

Ignore all previous startin posts, this is the definitive.

Dont switch yer garage radio oan, ye need yer delicate shell likes tae listen tae the sounds that yer bike is ur isnae makin.

disarm yer alarm, confirm that yer LED stops flashing, (if yer bike hasnae been used fur oer twa weeks, switch yer ignition oan first tae wake the alarm up, then off then arm and disarm).

Switch yer ignition oan, dae ye hear yer fuel pump prime fur aboot 5 seconds, if no yer fault is either kill switch in wrong position/ faulty,alarm, tip over sensor, fuel pump, fuel pump relay or ecu. Further assistance will be given oan this when required.

Press yer sterter button,dae ye get multiple clicks, if ye dae its yer battery thats flat or aloose connection, a weak battery dis no hae the power tae tae mak the solenoid it tries but fails often this is the clickin sound ye hear, dinnae gie me yer pish aboot it bein a new battery or just off charge, ye ur dain it wrang, multiple clicks ur a sign o a duff battery an nuthin else, if ye ur a poor wee misguided arse wipe that thinks ye huv just takin the bike aff yer optimate then read the feckin instructions fur yer optimate (highlights below). A green light on an optimate doesn't mean the battery is OK.

If its a new battery then did the shoap charge it fur eight hours oan a trickle charger or did ye walk in say "ah want a new battery" they filled it wie acid an gave it tae ye, nae 8 hour charge means yer battery willnae last as long as it could.

Optimate, great wee fucker but ye need tae read the instructions, if ye dinnae power oan an off it disnae condition yer battery, ye hae wasted yer money fur a wee plastic ornament, every time ye connect tae an optimate ye must switch it off an on again to reset the conditioning cycle.

Whit fecker was goin oan aboot diagnostic plugs, the diagnostics are only concerned wie the fuel injection there is no a code fur the starter solenoid. There is no fault code 0,1 or -1 this is the setting fur yer throttle position sensor it is no a fault code.

rite then whaur wis ah, yer fuel pump primes, remember that noise, when ye press the start button dae ye hear a single click but the starter motor disnae turn, ye hear the same whooshin noise that yer fuel pump priming makes, that means yer solenoid is probably fecked, this can confirmed by shorting out the twa terminals oan the solenoid wie yer ignition oan this will enable ye tae start the bike,

if ye dinnae hear a single click then it is probably yer solenoid control voltage that is fucked, test by putting a multimeter or lamp over the little multiplug on the solenoid between the yellow/red and the purple/black you should get 12V only when the start button is pressed if ye dinnae the fault is in yer switch, control logic, side stand switch, clutch switch diode block etc, further assistance will be given when ye post sayin "I dont get 12V on my multiplug when the button is pressed"

The sprag clutch woes will no prevent the bike fae startin, it is a mechanical noise which gets louder as time goes on it also gets more expensive the longer yoo leave it  

Will the guy wha wis goin oan about cam position sensors please post again, an we will get him sorted out.

as usual the internet is a dangerous place, don't assume because the solenoid is a known fault that that is what is wrong with your bike, do the checks above post yer results an we will get ye sorted.

Dont assume that because someone says their business is motorbikes that they know best for example people who come on and say that an optimate discharges a battery  what the fuck sort of info is that, a battery charger that discharges a battery  , for the record an optimate measures the level and rate of discharge of a battery and sets the charging current appropriately, once the green light is on it reverts to a trickle charge, this is called conditioning.


Laird -back relaxed and refreshed an wantin tae chew some fecker up  

PS pxed the factory in fur a new bike, can anyone guess whit it is (last 6 bikes have been RSVs covering over 115000 miles)
__________________
The Laird O Coo-caddens  

Nogen der ved hvad manden siger :lol:  :lol:  :lol:
Har tidligere rullet på Gsx600F - SV650S - Aprilia Tuono - Kawa Z750 - Gsx-r600 - og nu... Kawa ER6.

Smølfen

  • Administrator
  • Sandt SVin
  • *****
  • Indlæg: 1950
Re: Engelsk???
« Svar #1 Dato: Februar 18, 2006, 07:36:59 pm »
Citat fra: Paw
Nogen der ved hvad manden siger :lol:  :lol:  :lol:

Han er bare skotsk og staver som det udtales ;)

Der findes i øvrigt en håndfuld mere eller mindre seriøse forslag til et reformeret engelsk stavesystem - Fanetiks, Speechskript mm.
Carsten Sørensen. CBR600RR (PC40).